Bullies in the Church?
For over twenty-five years, I filled the role as "Pastor's Wife". Now, that means different things in different circles. But for me, in rural congregations it meant being "mom" to everyone. Though the highest preference is for the Pastor's wife to play the piano, I didn't fit that role at all. The ultimate guise of caring was praying what they thought my husband, the Pastor should do or should do differently in my ear shot. Who can have any retort to someone's prayer?
The other way that we experienced "bullying in the church" was S.S. teachers who regularly would tell us everything our son did wrong..."and he was a "Pastor's son" was said with such incredulity we couldn't resist. (Although looking back we sure should have). They were normal boys. They were not mini-Pastors reaching for perfection and mature in the faith.
We were bullied by pay checks that barely met our needs. Often, we were slightly above the poverty line, although God was well aware and supplied for us in so many ways and through some very generous, loving and considerate people.
We were sometimes spied on--sometimes deliberately and sometimes not, but none-the-less we were in that glass house 24/7, in town, out of town, at the grocery store and even in our bed on Saturday a.m. if we weren't up and about at the crack of dawn. Never mind that we had been called out at 2:00 a.m. with an emergency.
There were those who competed for the attention of the Pastor's wife, like siblings looking for Mom's attention. There were those who worked to slither their way into our private lives to get closer to the Pastor-with a variety of motivations.
Why would I bother writing about these things? Because they hurt. They hurt our family. They hurt my children. I had such an innocent, pure love for people when we entered the ministry, but I grew cold and synnical. And with that, I have grown wise.Thank you Lord. I see the bullies coming, and I don't have to give them time or attention unless the Lord himself tells me to help this person overcome by the Power of HIS Spirit. Otherwise, they are tools to derail my calling, my time and my emotional well being.
Why would I write about such things? Because I am warning the young, innocent Pastor's wives, to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Be alert. Be on your guard, for your enemy is prowling...and YOU have the tools to overcome by the Spirit.
Bullies in the church? Oh yes. But God is preparing HIS church to be filled with HIS glory more and more each day. We will come to that place through HIS Spirit, through overcoming prayer. And the bride will meet her groom without spot or wrinkle--that includes, Pastors' wives, Pastors, their children and every other true saint. Amen. Hallelujah!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Veterans Day 2013.
How my views have changed since I was a young adult. As a child of the 60's and 70's I was strongly against the Viet Nam war, and I had studied WWI and WWII--I saw only unwise men causing bloodshed on others. I saw the word of God saying "Thou Shalt Not Kill"...War was killing and killing was sin.
But, then I had children. Now, I could not EVER see one of my sons going off to fight a foreign war, being maimed for life for the greed of men. It was WRONG, and there was no discussion.
Now, I am a grandmother and I do not want to see war. But, I respect the men who will defend my grandchildren, my land, my heritage. And one of those soldiers is a son of mine. I raised him to not even play with guns. I envisioned him as a spiritual leader and had confidence in the "word" God had given me concerning this. But, then God changed my thinking. David, a mighty warrior was a man of God. God had "called" David to be a warrior from a child. I was standing in the way of God's purpose for my eldest son.
Did I know God well enough to trust Him with my first born son? Could I relinquish control? Hadn't I given this son to the Lord before his birth and prayed for God's purposes for his life the moment he was born?
The "word" I had received of the Lord was that my sons were to be "leaders of men"...and I reluctantly had to admit that leading men in the military was still leading men. And where did we need more men of strength and integrity than in a place that formed the souls, character and strength of men? I let go.
It wasn't long and my son became Chief, a Commander in the USCG. And for such a time as this when the military want to leave "so help me God" out of their oath. As has been stated before by men of great sacrifice, strength, perseverance and maybe a little rough around the edges, "there are not atheists in fox holes"...
The silly wars men fight cannot be won with our ideology, but men of strength can imbody our ideology. They can be influencers. They can stand strong when forces beyond us threaten--not just wars but tsunami's and typhoons and hurricane, disasters that signal the end of this earth. Messiah is returning and he will bring us a new heaven and a new earth--this one was never made to last. And these end time warriors are the David's of our generation. I thank them. I respect them. I pray for them.
And, if you are smart, you will at least take a second look at your ideology and ask the God of the Universe if He needs to tweak your thinking--He did mine.
How my views have changed since I was a young adult. As a child of the 60's and 70's I was strongly against the Viet Nam war, and I had studied WWI and WWII--I saw only unwise men causing bloodshed on others. I saw the word of God saying "Thou Shalt Not Kill"...War was killing and killing was sin.
But, then I had children. Now, I could not EVER see one of my sons going off to fight a foreign war, being maimed for life for the greed of men. It was WRONG, and there was no discussion.
Now, I am a grandmother and I do not want to see war. But, I respect the men who will defend my grandchildren, my land, my heritage. And one of those soldiers is a son of mine. I raised him to not even play with guns. I envisioned him as a spiritual leader and had confidence in the "word" God had given me concerning this. But, then God changed my thinking. David, a mighty warrior was a man of God. God had "called" David to be a warrior from a child. I was standing in the way of God's purpose for my eldest son.
Did I know God well enough to trust Him with my first born son? Could I relinquish control? Hadn't I given this son to the Lord before his birth and prayed for God's purposes for his life the moment he was born?
The "word" I had received of the Lord was that my sons were to be "leaders of men"...and I reluctantly had to admit that leading men in the military was still leading men. And where did we need more men of strength and integrity than in a place that formed the souls, character and strength of men? I let go.
It wasn't long and my son became Chief, a Commander in the USCG. And for such a time as this when the military want to leave "so help me God" out of their oath. As has been stated before by men of great sacrifice, strength, perseverance and maybe a little rough around the edges, "there are not atheists in fox holes"...
The silly wars men fight cannot be won with our ideology, but men of strength can imbody our ideology. They can be influencers. They can stand strong when forces beyond us threaten--not just wars but tsunami's and typhoons and hurricane, disasters that signal the end of this earth. Messiah is returning and he will bring us a new heaven and a new earth--this one was never made to last. And these end time warriors are the David's of our generation. I thank them. I respect them. I pray for them.
And, if you are smart, you will at least take a second look at your ideology and ask the God of the Universe if He needs to tweak your thinking--He did mine.
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