Monday, November 11, 2013

Bullies in the Church?

For over twenty-five years, I filled the role as "Pastor's Wife".  Now, that means different things in different circles.  But for me, in rural congregations it meant being "mom" to everyone.  Though the highest preference is for the Pastor's wife to play the piano, I didn't fit that role at all. The ultimate guise of caring was praying what they thought my husband, the Pastor should do or should do differently  in my ear shot.  Who can have any retort to someone's prayer?

The other way that we experienced "bullying in the church" was S.S. teachers who regularly would tell us everything our son did wrong..."and he was a "Pastor's son" was said with such incredulity we couldn't resist.  (Although looking back we sure should have).  They were normal boys.  They were not mini-Pastors reaching for perfection and mature in the faith.

We were bullied by pay checks that barely met our needs.  Often, we were slightly above the poverty line, although God was well aware and supplied for us in so many ways and through some very generous, loving and considerate people.

We were sometimes spied on--sometimes deliberately and sometimes not, but none-the-less we were in that glass house 24/7, in town, out of town, at the grocery store and even in our bed on Saturday a.m. if we weren't up and about at the crack of dawn.  Never mind that we had been called out at 2:00 a.m. with an emergency.

There were those who competed for the attention of the Pastor's wife, like siblings looking for Mom's attention. There were those who worked to slither their way into our private lives to get closer to the Pastor-with a variety of motivations.

Why would I bother writing about these things?  Because they hurt.  They hurt our family.  They hurt my children.  I had such an innocent, pure love for people when we entered the ministry, but I grew cold and synnical.  And with that, I have grown wise.Thank you Lord.  I see the bullies coming, and I don't have to give them time or attention unless the Lord himself tells me to help this person overcome by the Power of HIS Spirit.  Otherwise, they are tools to derail my calling, my time and my emotional well being.

Why would I write about such things?  Because I am warning the young, innocent Pastor's wives, to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.  Be alert.  Be on your guard, for your enemy is prowling...and YOU have the tools to overcome by the Spirit.

Bullies in the church?  Oh yes.  But God is preparing HIS church to be filled with HIS glory more and more each day.  We will come to that place through HIS Spirit, through overcoming prayer.  And the bride will meet her groom without spot or wrinkle--that includes, Pastors' wives, Pastors, their children and every other true saint.  Amen.  Hallelujah!


2 comments:

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  2. #6 has some merit. #7Yes, (Tongue in cheek) joining a church never saved anyone, but it sure helps in the tax system The fact is that every denomination and many individuals experience their own truth and propagate that stream of thinking--we do the same thing with moves of God. If you were saved at a "tent meeting" then that is the only way the Holy Spirit works--if you were a "bussed to Sunday School Kid" you believe that is the only way to reach children. The fact is, we are all biased. We all need forgiveness of sins. We do need to walk in unity with all that call upon the name of Messiah--The One True God.

    I won't argue how to be saved or sanctified--I trust the Holy Spirit to do His job and I know that the Word of God will NOT return void. I believe in Baptism. Period.

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